Why is there an emoji movie?

"bhtooefr" (bhtooefr) 07/30/2017 at 20:47 • Filed to: movies, emoji movie, wtf

1

12

And why did people spend $25M to see it this weekend?

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

PS9 > bhtooefr 07/30/2017 at 20:55

5

I guess for the same reason Leather wapped rocks sold out online for $85. And I don’t mean diamond or gold rocks, or even pretty rocks you get from dead volcanoes. Just plain old rocks anyone can pick up off the ground. $85.

Or maybe for the same reason a $400 Juicer that contracts you out to $2k/year in Juicing packs that you must cut open, compost the remains inside and mail the emptied juice pack back to the company for recycling got $125M in startup funding. Think about that for a moment; the person who heard all that in a sales pitch and thought “Wow, that’s a great idea!” had $125M to give to this great idea. Somehow.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > bhtooefr 07/30/2017 at 21:03

0



fhrblig > bhtooefr 07/30/2017 at 21:04

5

We’re just a few steps away from this:

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > bhtooefr 07/30/2017 at 21:29

3

Because advertising to children is a sure fire way to make big bank.

AestheticsInMotion > PS9 07/30/2017 at 21:32

1

I didn’t need to be reminded of the leather rock thing...

ranwhenparked > fhrblig 07/30/2017 at 21:35

1

Actually, I think we’re there right now. Attention spans are too short for 90 minutes, but I bet people would pay to look at a naked farting ass for at least half an hour.

ranwhenparked > bhtooefr 07/30/2017 at 21:37

3

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American consumer.

How do you think door to door salesman in the ‘60s were able to get literally entire city blocks to all buy the same ugly aluminum awnings, faux wrought iron columns, and fake grass porch carpet?

Dusty Ventures > bhtooefr 07/30/2017 at 21:47

3

Dunkirk is a serious business, bleak, historical war movie. This limits the audience, because it means someone will likely only buy a ticket if a) they’re mature enough to understand the historical significance of the war in general and the Battle of Dunkirk in particular, b) they care about history (specifically war history), and c) they’re ready and willing to be bombarded by two hours of death. Not carefree meaningless action movie death, but tragic, painful, unfair, terrible, raw, this-shit-happened war death. Speaking personally, with all the fighting and arguing in the real world these days I find myself in a mood for that kind of emotional experience less and less often, despite the fact that I generally love this kind of film (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen Saving Private Ryan).

Kids’ movies meanwhile tend to do well at the box office even if they’re terrible. They’re usually emotionally light enough and short enough that you can watch them anytime (unless it’s Pixar), and parents often just want something with bright colors, loud noises and poop jokes that’ll distract the children for an hour or two. And if there’s anything the Emoji Movie guarantees, it’s poop jokes.

bhtooefr > Dusty Ventures 07/30/2017 at 21:50

1

Note that I’m not commenting on Dunkirk with linking that tweet, although the tweet was obviously comparing them.

The Emoji Movie, though... well, that’s a bunch of .

Dusty Ventures > bhtooefr 07/30/2017 at 21:57

0

Haha in that case ignore my first paragraph and just look at the second one. It’s very, very rare for a kids’ movie to flop at the box office if it was marketed sufficiently.

(This is where Laika struggles. They spend all their money making the most beautiful films in the world then have nothing left to advertise it with)

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > PS9 07/30/2017 at 22:11

0

Then you need to see this

X37.9XXS > bhtooefr 07/31/2017 at 09:31

1

The same reasons that 62 million people voted for the Cheeto God-Emperor. Stupidity and Ignorance

Ceterum autem censeo Trump esse delendam